Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
