ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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