Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
