Jerry, you need to find god
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
