i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Sorry about my life...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
