My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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