i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
