Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
