You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
