I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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