why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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