you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
