I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
