i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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