spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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