please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize