I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
