eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
