I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
