is your mom at the bar?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
