yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
