I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He shit in the fireplace
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
