i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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