I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
