Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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