I hate your face
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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