You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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