she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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