Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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