Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
NoShamevember. You game?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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