well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
