I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
