doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
