His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
