Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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