I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
