the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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