So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
soo... how was my night?
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