In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
