dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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