I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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