mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
