she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
