I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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