He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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