What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
