He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
