your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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