pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
