Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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